When Audrey Slater’s daughter (we’ll call her Katie) was in third grade, she picked up her mom’s phone one day and discovered Instagram. It was love at first sight. “She begged me to let her get her own account,” recalls Slater, of Brooklyn. She resisted at first but finally gave in, and last year at age 9 Katie began posting silly selfies, videos of herself doing cartwheels, and pictures of her dog. “It’s all very age-appropriate and sweet, but I do have to keep a constant eye on her,” says Slater.
At ever-younger ages, kids are asking for their own YouTube channel, Instagram account, or even to use Snapchat. Before you say yes, here are some issues to consider.
Decide Whether She's Ready
Technically, we shouldn’t even be having this discussion. According to the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, it’s illegal for commercial websites and apps to allow children under age 13 to open an online account without verifiable parental consent. “The law was created to keep companies from collecting data about kids and marketing to them,” says Stephen Balkam, the founder and CEO of the nonprofit Family Online Safety Institute. Still, most children are savvy enough to get around this rule by using a parent’s e-mail and a fake birth date, often with permission.
Besides the legal issues, however, there are the concerns about maturity. “At ages 7 to 11, children are still thinking very concretely, and they haven’t yet developed the ability to consider hypothetical situations,” explains Lisa Strohman, Ph.D., founder and director of the Technology Wellness Center and coauthor of Unplug: Raising Kids in a Technology Addicted World. “So an 8-year-old girl posting a video about how to do her hair is just thinking, ‘My friends will see this and it will be great!’ She can’t take that next step and think about who else might watch that video and write mean comments or even repost it and use it to sell hair products.”
Still, it’s hard to generalize about the best age to start. “Some kids may be ready to handle social media under the legal age of 13, but most probably can’t,” adds Parents advisor Michael Rich, M.D., director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Boston Children’s Hospital. “You are the best judge of your child. Ask: Can she use it in ways that are healthy and respectful of others?”
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